With enough empathy I can feel into you. You say you are tired, well I sense deep, deep sadness. I sense the depth in what we shared yesterday. On the surface its not all facts and figures and I feel sad because there is no way to bridge the deep sadness and tiredness which is really about so much grief over what was lost. A new house wont change any of that and the sadness we all went through so many years ago will never not be sad. Things happened that were tragic and hard and we have each tried our own best way to live with them. We haven’t been able to cry over them together as I had hoped, due to defences. Its just the way it is, no angry story lines from me any more.
This morning I looked deep into Jaspers eyes which to me are ocean deep like two black ocean pearls reflecting deeper and deeper pools of feeling. I felt myself to be looking into the eyes of god, no fences, no defences, just pure love. Perhaps that is what is left after all the defences and story lines about our suffering are removed. We find ourselves in an open field that is empty, the emptiness speaks of a truth deeper than words and in that emptiness there is room for something new, all is not just laid to waste any more. And we find ourselves not longer in a wasteland but staring out across an enormous field of potent and possibility which contains every known emotion available to human kind. The vista is calm, our vision is clear and we feel a wholeness within so deep and so profound which nothing can disturb.