Lately I am becoming aware that at times my perception can be distorted and I read things into situations that they may not contain at all. This is not to say that at times I don’t see deeper truths and that I always get it wrong but I can tend to take a negative slant on things and then I am seeing not through the eyes of love or through a deeper understanding but rather I am seeing through the eyes of fear tinged with a lot of past pain and projections.
It is occurring to me lately that I can ask for divine help with this to correct my wrong perceptions or perceptions tinged with fears which actually end up limiting my life. There is a saying somewhere, I think it comes from A Course in Miracles that goes “I am not a victim of the world I see”. Sometimes I feel that I am. I don’t live with the belief in abundance but with the belief in lack. I don’t live with a sense of hope and possibility but with a sense of doom and impossibility and when I begin to think like this I become a victim of my own thinking. I am made aware through steps 6 and 7 of the recovery steps that I can ask for help with having my perceptions and pain transformed.
I do think there comes a time when we have to begin to take responsibility for the thoughts we are thinking. There comes a time when our old patterns of thinking can become painful for us and this is the time our souls are calling on us to make a change. We are only a victim of the world we think we see if we are not prepared to take some responsibility for making changes that can bring some happiness towards us in the place of pain. This is not to say that we need to always run from pain for sometimes pain, loss, betrayal, disappointments have to be felt through fully, hard as that is and then they transform once we show them the healing light of acceptance.
Part of being adult means we will encounter things we often don’t like or want in our life or world. What we do with how we process the hurt, betrayal or disappointment will be essential to how we come out of that experience. I am not saying that the deep pain of going through trauma, betrayal or abuse was just an illusion but maybe on some level it had some lesson for us. A lesson about continuing to love and believe in love and hold fast to the idea that we can see through eyes of love once all the hatred, hurt and fear has passed through us. I think forgiveness is a conclusion that comes at the end of this difficulty journey. One that cannot be forced but will emerge once we have done the inner work to correct our inner vision and clear out and cleanse our inner hurt, fear, betrayal and pain all of which were valid responses but can if held onto for too long become hurtful to our ongoing life.