Why don’t you feel like I want you to?

I am me.  I bring to life my own reactions which occur out of certain experiences and a certain temperament.  I am put on earth to be me.  If I react in a way you didn’t want me to do you think you can change it or argue about it?  Its not up for debate.  Sorry!!  No ditch that actually I am not.  That is co-dependence and its a messy mixed up game I no longer want to play.

You may think my blog is okay and perhaps deserving of some recognition.  I don’t.  I just write from my heart to be honest and hopefully help others to feel free too.  I am not looking for awards or recognition what I would rather is that I touched your heart or something resonated.

Deciding to promote me without asking me and then feeling wounded when I say it made me feel uncomfortable all started with you.   I didn’t ask to be promoted.  You say I said I was lonely and so you wanted to help.  Loneliness is part of life and part of the spiritual path. It is a way into depth.  It may not always be pleasant or comfortable because life is not always, in fact at times it can be damned uncomfortable.  Does that mean we put up walls or run away or just try and shoot the discomfort down in flames?  Show some maturity.

Why should I be the one left crying?  I didn’t ask for help.  I don’t feel less than just because I don’t get recognition, my feelings about me don’t rest on any outside circumstance, they come from how closely I choose to live to my own values.  So don’t put your feelings of discomfort about my discomfort or values on me or try to assume what my values are, or how I feel and then get offended when I don’t feel that way.  I feel as I feel no question, no argument, no apology.  Leave me be.  I was having a peaceful life before you barged your way into it and began stirring up your messy whirlwind.

18 thoughts on “Why don’t you feel like I want you to?

  1. Uh, I never felt wounded, Deb. I told you this several times.

    You are the one that tried to say I felt that way when I’ve repeatedly told you that I only felt concern that you felt uncomfortable.

    Stop trying to tell me how I feel. It’s very disrespectful and controlling.

    I’ve told you several times, my only concern was that you were uncomfortable, something which you never told me until days later.

    You should’ve told me when I sent you the link that you declined being promoted.

    Instead you thanked me, participated, and now, DAYS later this? You have had my email for days. You could’ve easily sent me an email or even commented on my page when you had access.

    And as far as anyone barging into your life and creating a messy whirlwind, WHAT??? It’s the internet! I’ve never even met you, so yeah, I definitely did not barge into your life. And you are all over my blog, too, so stop trying to play the victim.

    You followed me and emailed me, no one twisted your arm to do that. All of this drama is ridiculous. I am embarrassed for you.

    All this crap over a “Happy Birthday” wish. Geez!

    All I did was be a friend to you. And this is how you pay me back? By putting me down and calling me names? That is emotional abuse and I will not have it.

    Do not contact me again and get some help.

    1. You are entitled to your opinion. There is a lot here not truly based in fact fom my side. Did you first request my opinion as to what you decided to post. No. I did not see any link in any email as it all happened out of the blue at a time of great stress with my Mums ill hwalth and many other commitment in a difficult busy week. I shared this all with my therapist today and her opinion was you over reacted. It is you who is trying to paint me as an abuser which I am not. It was obvious from what I wrote I appreciated your kindness but I felt uncomfortable being talked up in such an over the top way. Its not me. You are a very forceful person and sadly I went along with it. In future I would speak up.. Believe what you will of me. I feel it is you who is trying to paint me in a negative light. Fair enough but turn the spotlight back on yourself and stop trying to discredit me publically.

      1. Yeah, I’m sure that’s what your therapist said, haha!!

        I did not overreact. You are the one overreacting and it’s sad. You called me names and put me down. That is abusive.

        I am not trying to paint you in any way, merely defending myself against your irrational attacks.

        I’m done. Rant all you want. You’re a sad sad woman who felt she had to take me down.

        Anyone who knows me knows my heart and that I am a caring person. I don’t spend my life crying and jealous.

        Get a life. Good-bye.

  2. Here is how you characterized me in a COMPLETELY false light:

    “That is co-dependence and its a messy mixed up game I no longer want to play.”

    When someone is kind to you, that is not co-dependence. That is friendship or caring. To call it game playing is sick.

    *

    “Deciding to promote me without asking me and then feeling wounded when I say it made me feel uncomfortable all started with you.”

    Again, I never felt wounded. If you had said that you didn’t want it when I emailed you, I would NOT have posted it!!!

    *

    “I didn’t ask to be promoted.”

    You THANKED ME when I did. It’s only NOW SEVERAL DAYS LATER that you are complaining about it!!!

    *(

    “Show some maturity.”

    Attacking my character.

    *

    “So don’t put your feelings of discomfort about my discomfort or values on me or try to assume what my values are, or how I feel and then get offended when I don’t feel that way.”

    This is just convoluted and confusing, but nevertheless a put-down and a mis-characterization of what happened. You need to take some responsibility for what you did here. You are mistaken and you accused ME of being the one arguing when all I’ve done is try to get through to you to get you to see that what you thought happened DID NOT, in fact happen.

    *

    “I was having a peaceful life before you barged your way into it and began stirring up your messy whirlwind.”

    That’s just mean.

      1. I appreciate your apology. Again, I meant no harm. I only wanted to cheer you up when I posted a happy birthday post. You are the only one whose gotten angry about it. I put out a post that informed all of my followers that I do promotions. In it, I clearly state to email me to opt out.

        12 people opted out. You were not one of them. However, if you had told me that it made you uncomfortable, I would’ve never posted Happy Birthday wishes for you.

        Please take care of yourself. I can’t do this anymore.

    1. You are not going to let this go are you? lol….

      When you put me down, said mean things, and mis-characterized me, that was anger. People do not act so passively aggressive without having some kind of anger.

      And do not accuse me of not getting how this was for you and don’t make that my problem.

      You had my email. You should’ve spoken up. You saw the post I put out about promoting people. You are not the only one I promoted. You even put a like on that page, so I know you saw it. You did not opt out. You need to take responsibility.

      All of this could’ve been avoided if you had just handled it assertively and shot me a comment or an email asking me not to promote you. You never did that. I’m not ever going to apologize for being kind and promoting my friends or people I thought were my friends. I did nothing wrong there. I did not put you down or say anything derogatory about you, I did retort when I saw those statements in this post. You can’t take shots at people and not expect them to defend themselves. And the only reason I even saw this is because it went to my email.

      And I never said you were angsty.

      Let’s just drop it, ok? We are not going to be friends, that is clear.

    1. But the thing I need you to understand is that I wasn’t angry until you made all those mis-characterizations in that post. It was uncalled for. We’d already resolved everything and if you were still upset, you could’ve handled this privately and with more respect toward me instead of saying those mean things in this post.

      I didn’t deserve that.

      I was not angry until I saw that in my email this morning.

      You kept saying I felt wounded about your feelings, etc. When I tried to explain that was not the case, you posted this. And yes, anyone who gave a crap would’ve cared about having their character maligned this way.

      It was all unnecessary and you hurt me by doing so.

      You apologized, I forgive you. I wish you all the best.

      1. Thanks for that. I will do some reading on passive aggression. Unfortunately I cannot read what you wrote on it as your site is blocked to me. I think you may have a point with this. At times I resist and withdraw and I just read an article on that. I come from a hardworking background in which its nose to the grind stone. To seek acclaim is considered ‘bad’ so its part of my shadow and you obviously were put in my life to trigger this issue. So thank you for that and I am sorry if I hurt or angered you in any way due to my mixed upness. I don’t spend my entire life angry and jealous though, but that is obviously what you make of me.

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