How honesty sets empaths up for narcissistic abuse

This is video contains some very essential information. When connecting with narcissists empaths have to beware our default setting of radical honesty.  This video outlined how I got ‘ captured’ by the last relationship by openness and honesty too early on.  Its a wake up call for us to set better internal boundaries and beware early in our dealings with how much we reveal to others we don’t know well, yet.  I have actually been scammed twice by narcissists, something I have felt quite ashamed about.  This video explains why!  Beware!!

Jenna Scott expresses it eloquently when she says :

I wish I knew this truth along time ago. It has given me chills to think that the very basis of my personality was the cause of my pain and suffering. It almost makes you want to change who you are as a person so you never ever fall into there hellish prison again. In itself that would be letting them win and I vowed never to let that happen to me again. Going through four narcissistic relationships is enough to last me a lifetime.

17 thoughts on “How honesty sets empaths up for narcissistic abuse

  1. Bleh! I don’t like this guy. He has a blog here, I think. He’s creepy! :o)

    I’m so sorry you’ve had to survive a narcissist. I know this so well. I know you must’ve been in unbelievable emotional pain, love. I can’t tell you how sad it makes me….tearing up as I write this.

    Warm, tight hugs.

    1. It was fucking hell for four painful years during and then when he discarded me nearly four more. only just really coming out of it in the past year or so. I seem to attract them. I swallowed all the shit he laid down on me.
      I think this Knowing the Narcissist guy seems creepy as he is taking on that persona. I think if we can bear with this he reveals some painful truths. But I get why you feel as you do as its pure evil in some way. Thanks so much for your genuine gut response to what I went through. It means so much to me.

      1. 💋

        Do you know who this guy is? There is a guy who has a blog here on being a narcissist, and who wrote some books on narcissism, which, in my opinion were basically plagiarized from other books from more credible authors.

        He does these videos on youtube and his voice sounds exactly like this one.

        I called him out on his blog, haha. 🙂

      2. I’m looking for it right now…I think I talked to him sometime in December….at first I thought it was a joke, like a satirical blog, but he was dead serious. He bills himself out as the expert and he sees it as his duty to educate us….bleh.

      3. I ‘follow’ his blog here. I stumbled upon his YT channel a bit more recently. I prefer his blog though as his particular message and delivery of it is less unsettling in writing as opposed to listening to his voice.

        Here’s the link to his blog

        Just to mention though when you open it up, you’ll see the word “EVIL” in big black lettering. I don’t want you to be shocked by that so I thought I’d mention it.

        I get quite a bit, out of his information as well.

        BTW: I listened to a couple minutes of the video… He was saying how certain things are part of us…how if we change them it would be like ripping our own heart out….That’s BS. Don’t take that in too deeply.

        I don’t know where you’re at in the recovery process, but just know that you absolutely CAN change certain things about yourself if you want to badly enough and still be a loving, kind, compassionate person. You can still be all those things but also safer.

      4. Thank so much now you mention that word Evil I know the site you mention. Evil is the word live spelt backwards. I don’t believe narcs are inherently evil but they are invested in defences they attract the defenceless as that is part of their own shadow. I am going to write a detailed post about this soon.
        We wouldn’t want to change our essence but we do need to change some things, as you say and as others have said. We need to wise up, step outside of their projections, recognise them as protections of the narcs own wounded vulnerable self. One of the key things my ex narc first said to me was this “I cant have a relationship with you, you are too vulnerable.” “Yes, but I am strong too,” I said.
        Later a therapist pointed out that in healthy relationships vulnerability is encouraged not denied. On some level my ex narc was right I needed stronger boundaries and to bat his shit back at him, instead at critical times I collapsed which I see clearly now. I have learned a lot from the pain now. I would never go through that again. Next time I would be much stronger. Thanks so much for the link and your comments.

      5. All of this…very well said. And I agree with you that narcs are not inherently evil. I’m not on that wagon, but some of the shit they do certainly seems evil.

        You ‘sound’ strong in this comment. And I look forward to the post you mentioned writing as well.

      6. I hope I am strong and not just sounding it :). But honestly I feel stronger since finding a lot of this information. I got dumped with so much shadow stuff in that last relationship it was hard to get out from under. And I am building my strength slowly.

      7. That’s a really good way to put it…”dumped with so much shadow stuff…” That’s how it was for me. Except I didn’t know how to put it into words til now. So thanks for that.

        That break up (and parts of the relationship too) was not the last traumatic incident. For me it was my family and their scapegoating of me. The whole family unit was one big narcissist.

        I’m also working on getting stronger. Although have not felt so in a long time. I think there is strength in blogging as well as for me I had to have some strength before I started to blog in the first place. So there’s that. Lol.

      8. Im going to address a lot of this in the next few posts. I am deep in the midst of this now. As family scapegoats we are already well versed to be dumping grounds. We have been conditioned to be refuse clearers. It sucks painfully and we need to get out from under that pattern. !!!

      9. Yep! Couldn’t agree more with that last statement. I’m working on that now. I have a decent therapist although I’ve just started with her. Not sure yet how far I will get with her but I’m more ready now than ever so I’m also beginning to do more on my own, other than blog.

        I’ve been reading your blog…recent ‘follower.’ And learning some things as well.

      10. A good therapist is so essential as I know for myself in my family my sense of self and ego got so twisted its taken heaps of therapy to start to sort it all out. My current therapist is very good and I have had not so good ones. And yes I also think there comes a time we become our own best parent. We need to be solid inside ourselves first and foremost. I remember reading this quote somewhere “of all the people you know you are the only one who will never leave” only true as long as we don’t self abandon. 🙂

  2. Through my experiences in this realm, having been involved with and discarded by a couple narcissists myself, I can tell you, my heart, while still open, is a lot more careful now. I no longer invest myself in these kinds of men. I never feel the need to “work through” problems. I walk away, now, sooner, rather than later.

    In growing, I’ve allowed “better” male role models in my life, so I can actually see the difference. My benchmarks, that by which I measure qualities and traits in a potential SO has changed dramatically, D.

    The hardest lesson I had to learn (for myself, this may not apply to anyone else), was the fact that the reason I allowed emotionally unavailable men into my life was because I, myself, was emotionally unavailable, in general, as well. When that first hit me *gulp* it felt like the ground opened under me. From that dark moment, it was a lot of hard work and it still is.

    I don’t know what your situation is, but I hope it gets better for you. ❤️

    1. Yes I would agree with that. I saw that emotionally guarded unavailable side of myself a while ago and have written about it. I believe these kind of relationships are about shadow work and I want to write a post about that soon, how they highlight buried parts of ourself we need to develop. It also goes back to childhood for me and early parent and sibling relationships. Thanks so much for sharing your perspective.

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