A butterfly trapped in the rain

I am reblogging this post as it speaks some deep truths that emerged for me as I faced breast cancer surgery earlier in the year.

Emerging From The Dark Night

The sun is shining outside, the wind is buffeting the leaves on the trees and I have been inside all day twisting around feeling like a caterpillar caught in the chrysalis that cannot get out no matter how hard it tries to form its wings, the wings are damaged or in the process  something happened which did not allow the wings to form properly and so the part caterpillar, part butterfly flaps around on the ground, turning this way and that, unable to take flight.

Last week a friend I went to see Diana Krall perform and she sang a beautiful ballad about a butterfly trapped in the rain. The image was a potent one for me.

This week in therapy I have been exploring the killing energy of my Dad on my soul.  It may seem like a little thing, but it was a huge thing, it was SUCH…

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Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

Categories Anger, Cancer, Emotional Abandonment, Emotional Abuse, Father Wound, LIfe Story5 Comments

5 thoughts on “A butterfly trapped in the rain”

  1. Interesting timing of this post. I was just talking with a friend last night about her son’s girlfriend. She is back in her native country for the week, and her sister is quite ill, and her family is making her feel guilty for wanting to come back to America to live her life. So similar.
    Also, tonight, I cried about my dad. I know I need to accept him for what he is, but I felt tonight that if I do that, I’m just sort of stuffing my feelings down and ignoring it..not really healing from it. I think you’re right, I can’t heal from it. I have to integrate it in me, in a better way than it already is a part of me.


    1. Its so complex, though isn’t it Jami? Its hard work to grieve and sometimes forgiving too soon aborts that especially if we have been conditioned that anger is bad, or will destroy everything. I am thinking of you I wish I could help you with feeling it through. Its so nice to be held when we go through our grief. Sending you heaps and heaps of hugs xo


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