S.W.I.R.L : I now understand where my ‘spinning’ comes from!

The one good this about an abandonment trauma re-entactment is that it pushes you further towards healing and understanding, so in some small way I am glad that I was let down and disappointed yesterday by both a close friend and my therapist.  Being let down and going through the resultant emotional hijacking and dive into deep abandonment trauma has made me see some important things.  It also let me back to an excellent website which I highly recommend by the author of a wonderful book that I was led to following the ending of my marriage and had forgotten about The Journey from Abandonment to Healing. 

I have just posted some info from one  of the articles on this site in my previous blog.  I then came across the page on S.W.I.R.L which outlines the five stages of abandonment and healing from it which made so much sense to me of the spins my body goes through in reaction to therapy and abandonment triggers.  I now see that my current therapist has insufficient awareness to actually help me in any constructive way.  Indeed today she abandoned me which was a deep cut but I am going to use it to cut ties with her and get launched in a better healing direction as I don’t want to be stuck in this painful swirling state as I have been over at least 10 years now.  I want out!  I am determined to heal.  So I will be posting more abut SWIRL in another post.   It is my task on here to try and provide real help for similar sufferers and I cannot do this if I am trapped in the dark with a therapist who in triggering my old pain fails to offer me sufficient help at the right time to heal through it.  I am going to use my anger in a constructive way, for liberation!!

2 thoughts on “S.W.I.R.L : I now understand where my ‘spinning’ comes from!

  1. I am so sorry your therapist let you down hun. I am also sorry you feel she isn’t right for you anymore. I wish you the best of luck in finding somebody new to help you further continue your healing journey.Hugs <3xx

    1. Thanks Athina. I am so unsure what to do. She is currently giving me the silent treatment responding to none of the text messages I have sent This kind of unresponsiveness is extremely triggering for me. Part of me thinks she is trying to control me and couldn’t handle the situation.. Another part of me feels it may be a wise response. The other part of me that was more active yesterday just hurts. But the longer I stay with no response I guess the more active I have to be with taking care of myself and watching any anger, revenge thoughts and trying to nip those in the bud. Which I think is a either a sign of growth or a sign of denial. Thanks so much for your comment.

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