The one good this about an abandonment trauma re-entactment is that it pushes you further towards healing and understanding, so in some small way I am glad that I was let down and disappointed yesterday by both a close friend and my therapist. Being let down and going through the resultant emotional hijacking and dive into deep abandonment trauma has made me see some important things. It also let me back to an excellent website which I highly recommend by the author of a wonderful book that I was led to following the ending of my marriage and had forgotten about The Journey from Abandonment to Healing.
I have just posted some info from one of the articles on this site in my previous blog. I then came across the page on S.W.I.R.L which outlines the five stages of abandonment and healing from it which made so much sense to me of the spins my body goes through in reaction to therapy and abandonment triggers. I now see that my current therapist has insufficient awareness to actually help me in any constructive way. Indeed today she abandoned me which was a deep cut but I am going to use it to cut ties with her and get launched in a better healing direction as I don’t want to be stuck in this painful swirling state as I have been over at least 10 years now. I want out! I am determined to heal. So I will be posting more abut SWIRL in another post. It is my task on here to try and provide real help for similar sufferers and I cannot do this if I am trapped in the dark with a therapist who in triggering my old pain fails to offer me sufficient help at the right time to heal through it. I am going to use my anger in a constructive way, for liberation!!