This is a post from last year. Reading it back I am made aware of how much further I have come in 14 months. There are far fewer of those dark days but for those still going through them this may be some encouragement to keep moving forward and healing.
Today is one of them, the really tough days when my legs and stomach ache from the struggle I go through with my PTSD symptoms and when I sit quietly with my hands on my body in the painful places, grief like an ocean rises up. My symptoms seem to have flared up after a treatment yesterday with a body worker, it has taken me five hours to get out of bed, have a shower (huge panic attack while in the shower which seems to trigger all my pain), make breakfast, feed the dog, clear up dishes and get dressed. Its now nearly 2 pm and I woke at 7.15 am.
On these days life seems too hard. Yesterday I touched base with the feelings of profound sadness, fear, desperation and powerlessness I experienced following the bike accident in 2005 when I went over the handlebars and hit my head open on…
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