I am reblogging this as a reminder to myself of where I was 2 years ago in my grief journey. Reading it I am aware of how far I have come. My oldest sister died 8 months prior to this post. I was in grief. I didn’t fully understand my feelings. The darkness was just sadness.
What is this dark angel that hovers over me, laying to waste all happiness, entering me into some deep dark mystical sadness that is like an ocean that threatens to drown me, that pulls on me with its restless tide that comes unbidden from an unknown place?
I have no power over the times of its coming and going and then I question do I create its visitations with my resistance to the world I see that seems barren of feeling and leaves no place for a deeper darker vision of events which have fallen below consciousness.
I remember asking my first therapist. “Do you think I am a borderline personality?” To which she replied, “No, Deborah I believe you are someone who lives very close to the collective unconscious.”
Carl Jung was such a person. His sun in Leo opposes mine in Aquarius and he had the Sun Neptune square. Just prior to the outbreak of…
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