You couldn’t stay

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You couldn’t stay

The world was calling you

But I was too young

And I didn’t understand

Why did you have to go away?

Now I know

It wasn’t about me

The mother I had didn’t want to spend any time with me

I don’t really know why she wanted me to be born

Even now when I am so alone

And see myself turning myself inside out

To find someone to stay

I see finally all the time wasted

And the damage I did

Just wasn’t worth the pain

And so now, I need to stay with me

Because when I am at home

Cosy inside

Wrapped up in a soft space of self protection and love

I find that I have all that I ever needed

Apart from one thing

Another human that would come into my life

And not choose to walk away

Or turn their face from mine

And yet I know I can survive

And there is enough love in my own heart

To light an inner fire

Beside which I can warm myself

When outside comfort

Is hard to find

6 thoughts on “You couldn’t stay

  1. I call that feeling sweet isolation, cozy in my home with my familiar things and comforts. It’s an okay place for me to be right now as I realize I had always been the one who was always there for me my whole life. I want to learn to honour that before I invite anyone else in right now.

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