Encouragement for the interior journey

Diving

The greatest explorer on this earth never takes voyages

as long as those of the man

who descends to the depth of his heart.

Julien Green

I just read an excellent article on the current Mars retrograde : http://mountainastrologer.com/tma/mars-shows-way.  It highlighted that on the day that Mars slowed to move backwards in April, Pluto, planet of the interior depths and deep psychological issues often deeply buried, moved backwards too.  Both movements were an encouragement to look within and it was pointed out in the article that frustrations against moving forward experienced during this period would be designed just for this purpose, to propel us towards deep introspection.

Today I found it difficult but I moved away from a very old, deep pattern.  I moved towards spending solitary time, difficult as that felt, I felt all the old inner voices telling me I was selfish for doing this, never the less I persevered.  Reading the article made me aware that all the deep introspection of weeks past, painful as it has been has lanced a boil and in fact an extremely painful boil actually appeared several days ago on my right hand shoulder blade (boils are often a manifestation of Pluto) and may indicate the stirring up of deep inner stuff.  I was aware that it was the result of a load of psychological tension and issues manifesting to do with being blocked, around the same time I had an encounter with the police that was an echo of old issues with my father that were arising in therapy.

My dream life has been particularly potent in weeks past.  I found in one dream the neglected child I left alone to pursue relationships which were wounding for her over many years.  Coming to mind have been the many hurts I’ve suffered at the hand of partners and years of isolation far from comfort and support in which I felt suicidal despair on so many occasions.  It is now clear to me that that this is all deep Scorpio (this is the sign Mars has now transited back into).  The station retrograde in April (which is the name given to the event when the planet in question appears to arrest its forward movement and back track critical degrees of our charts) took place at 8 degrees Sagittarius.  That squared my own natal Pluto in the first house which has to do with being someone marked out as a loner whose critical experiences of loss and trauma often set them up for a life of introversion and often propel us towards a deep psychological journey.

In the past few months with the retrograde hitting Pluto, then Chiron and now squaring natal Uranus I have been revisiting old hurts hopefully for the final time.  When Mars stations in two weeks I feel the intensity of the frustration will finally have made many things known and brought about some kind of culmination for me.

One planet does not, of course operate alone.  At the moment we are moving towards the annual opposition of the Sun to Pluto.  In the past few weeks we had the Sun opposition to Saturn.  From this time on (the full moon phase of any cycle) we start to get awareness of some of the deeply important issues both planets have for us.  With Saturn, where we need to build better boundaries, stand alone and make tough decisions, and take steps to put into place things which sustain and don’t drain us.  With Pluto we are shown what needs to be let go of and transformed, understandings which often only come about once we have faced and felt deep pain over buried issues of the past which may consciously or unconsciously have been affecting our present.

Astrological understanding gives us an appreciation of cycles.  It may help us to understand where frustrations actually have lessons for us or function to push us in new directions which our will would not have consciously chosen.  Forcing our gaze back within ourselves bears fruit under the impact of retrogrades.  Those of us with retrograde planets in our own charts, naturally experience this anyway.  We may feel out side of the crowd and need essential times of introversion and introspection.  Honouring these needs puts us in flow with our destiny, painful as it can be at times.   Propelled toward the inner journey by frustrations and difficulties in the outer world we can experience a kind of deep homecoming once we turn within and begin to take the necessary steps to nurture and grow our rich inner life.

 

Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

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