One thing about going through traumatic and invasive medical procedures and experiences is that they make you appreciate the simple joy and beauty of those days when you can live in a beautiful rhythm touching base with nature, pottering around, chatting to friends at the dog park, reading, listening to music, appreciating the warmth of the sun and the autumn colours and knowing that all feels fine with the world.
You can also slow down to smell the roses, don’t need to get so impatient with those Sunday drivers who are dawdling on the road and don’t even get phased when you try to find a park in the car park near your favourite café which is completely full with cars everywhere. In a quiet moment you send out a prayer to the car parking angel and then just at the eleventh hour watch someone walk towards the car parked just in front of you to the right, turn on their lights, start their motor and smile a big smile knowing you are the next in line for that car park.
When this happened to me today, and it may feel like a small thing, but I actually cried tears of joy. I had a feeling that the Universe, at least for this day was on my side and I had also a feeling that despite all I have gone through in the past months and years somewhere there is a benevolent force that wishes well for me. I also had a sense that if I can only hold to a positive frame of mind and be patient and trusting things will turn around for me.
Yesterday I was reading about the astrological climate for the month ahead. Soon the planet Mars will slow down to turn retrograde (something that only happens once every two years). During this kind of transit frustrations can tend to build, most especially if we have been thwarted a lot through life. If we try to push forward at these times unconscious of deeper pains and frustrations being triggered a lot of steam can build and we may make things even more difficult for ourselves.
Today as I seemed to encounter lots of blocks and go slows on the way to the café I reminded myself of something I read yesterday : to concentrate on the present moment, not on the destination, to listen the music in my car, to turn my focus within, breathe a big breath and re-lax (go lax again!!). It really worked and the prize at the end for slowing down was that a car park materialised just as I needed it.
In just over a months time Mercury too will station retrograde and this will mean that 5 planets are moving retrograde. Our focus will need to shift to the internal. To finding a state of mind and place in which we can experience comfort and safety. To addressing those issues that may be festering or tripping us up.
It seemed today that there was an intimation of lessons to be learned and of a attitude or state of mind that would help when meeting frustrations and delays.
I have about a month to wait until my radiology treatment will begin. It will probably start just as Mercury moves backwards. So for the moment I am enjoying the peaceful time of magic days when I can just be with my dog, in my home, connecting with others I care about and who care for me, reading, resting, pottering, blogging and counting the many blessings around me that I am able to enjoy just being alive.