Let us reach

Hands

Sometimes it seems

I only know how to be alone

it seems I have been alone so long

that now it is hard

to open the door and let you in

especially when I am hurting

when what I most need

is your love and tenderness

I am beginning to see

that inside is a small child

who learned to survive by being alone

by dissociating

by taking herself off

and learning to deal with things alone

and certainly there is a strength in this

but it is also very human

to feel frail at times

to need support

to find it all a bit too much

to cope with alone

and there is no shame in that

so now when I am facing something

that is very frightening

might I ask you just to sit with me

and hold my hand?

I can hold my own hand

it is true

but there is a very human comfort to be found in this

this gentle reaching out

with your hand to my hand

in a time of pain and stress

so please let us reach

over this at times seemingly

impenetrable divide

to find the place

of togetherness and love

and watch the walls

come tumbling down

for the loneliness and separation

we are healing

goes a long way back

and the wound we carry is the same

in being there for each other

we are healing the wound

together

5 thoughts on “Let us reach

  1. This is beautiful. I can relate very deeply to this tension between doing things on my own and allowing others in. i am so used to coping with the worst things alone that I find it hard to ask for and accept help yet there are times when I know I really need it. A deep part of me maybe feels like I will not get it or deserve it so to avoid crushing disappointment I rely on myself and shut people out. It’s a fine balance to achieve that independence with the support of others. For me it has always been all or nothing so that I thought it was either I do it all alone or others do it all for me. Now I am seeing that it is a very grey area and I CAN make the big decisions and be independent yet still accept the unconditional support of healthy people who care for and love me. I know very well how to be alone, it’s being with people that is so hard and I know it’s not my fault, that the trauma I suffered is a cause of that.

    1. Yes I do relate alot to those feelings I also think that when we are quite attuned and sensitive being alone is a more natural state if early in life harsh edges rubbed up against us and in solitude and quietness there is a peace. But to connect, to reach out is so natural. If as a child we look or reach out and no one is there we have to turn back on ourselves. We need a relationship with ourselves but we also have a human need to connect and be supported. It’s so hard to not have had that at critical times and to have lost faith in being vulnerable and asking.

      At the moment I need support…it hurts when it doesnt come and opens my heart in deep love when it does, touching a soft, raw, tender place inside.

      Thank you for sharing with me. I hope you are coping with your move..thinking of you.

      1. I hope that you know I am here for you when you need support. Only an email away if ever you need to, but having someone face to face is quite different to across the airwaves on the internet I know.

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