Found this very powerful.
“As a child, it was intolerable to be left alone with my pain. No one held me or told me that pain was normal and not something to fear. Pain meant my mom would push me away. Abandonment was a death sentence. It said, ‘You’re not worthy of protection, security, comfort or shelter.’ Masking the pain was survival. It was the very best I could do. As an adult, I still believed that pain—and the abandonment that followed—led to death.
I needed to provide what was lacking in my childhood—I had to validate my hurt and comfort my pain. When I felt insecure, I needed assurance; when I felt sad, I needed comfort; when I was mad, I needed understanding. I thought I deserved to escape my pain, but I really deserved love.”
~The Rescued Soul by Christina Enevoldsen
Emerging From The Dark Night 