Don’t cry alone, too long

I am sitting at my computer which has had the internet down for just over two days.  I was held back from posting some pieces I wrote and as I contemplate sharing this one I am feeling some deep ambivalence.  I have spent so much time alone with my pain.  In later years I have learned to reach out and share it.  I know often we can only tap into the deep, true, real pain alone, at other times I am resonating with the pain and sadness of others and lately I am also feeling such peace and joy due to a year in which I have found support, mirroring, understanding and empathy unlike in any other for expressing and moving through sadness, anger and pain.  The thoughts in this poem come from this more optimistic place.  Its only one version of truth.  I hope it resonates.

Don’t sit inside and cry too long alone.

I know it is important

to enter your darkness,

especially when everyone says

you must be bright,

but you must find a way

to reach out within it,

to connect,

even though it feels as if

you are so alone

and your heart is tearing in two

and the weight upon you

is so heavy

don’t let yourself drown alone here

forever

I have learned a little about this,

I know how

just one step forward

will allow the tears

or the sadness

or the anger to move

so that it is no longer strangling you,

smothering you completely.

It may be dangerous

to reach out

to the wrong person for sure

and you know the fear

and pain

and disappointment

of that

but I want you to know

you can survive even this

and find ways

to no longer be undone.

Not everyone will understand

and yet still

you must find the courage

to find your voice.

 Sitting inside all alone

and crying too

will not bring you home.

The well is deep

and at times you must

navigate nearly to the ends of it

but there is a reprieve

and there is still out there

a place of sunshine

where you can feel warm,

comforted

connected

and whole.

Trust me

I know.