A Deep Dark Ocean

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Some days I am swallowed up by a deep dark ocean

I did not think it was possible to go this deep

And when I am swirling or being spun

With all the feelings locked up inside

Of trauma, loss and regret

Unravelling

I am held down deep

By an invisible weight

Buried deep

I experience the longing to be alive

To return to that time when

I felt that I was really living

The pain is so deep

That it almost hurts to breathe

I awaken to a life that is a mystery

And some days I feel I am a stranger

In a strange land

Deep in exile

I am longing for home

But home is so very far away

And sadness bubbles up

And I am taken once more

Into the deep dark ocean

So deep, I feel I will drown

Later the shore is beckoning

Me to return

To my mother’s arms

Where I cry out all the pain

And know the pain we both carry

Is not separate

With the sharing

The deep dark ocean recedes

I go home to silent space

I make dinner

Sweep up leaves

And cuddle my dog

It seems there are two distinct phases of the day

Night feels more like home

Morning far away and strange

Within me is a mystery too deep to fathom

Beyond words

And sadness deeper than a thousand oceans

That cannot be reasoned away

Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

Categories Depression, Grief and Loss, UncategorizedLeave a comment

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