Feeling a little lonely but still at home


Today turned overcast.  I was in a deep sleep with a very involved dream regarding a visit to some caves and a friend who had gone missing. This was the friend who accompanied me for part of my overseas sojourn following my father death.  She wasn’t really missing but just taking some time to come back and a waiting period was involved.  Interesting that as Mercury will station to go forwards in a few days, both Mars and Saturn will station to turn retrograde.  I’m beginning to feel it.

I needed to be up at 8.30 for the tree man who was coming to give me some advice about which trees to plant following the removal of a wild tree that has left part of my garden depleted of shade.

I live alone and its funny that just having a man of the earth visit for a short while, who has such a deep knowledge of trees, and life cycles, fertilisers and flowers brought me to mind of my isolation and loneliness at times and my longing to connect to someone.  We spoke about how the carbon problem in our world could be simply rectified by planting more trees and not removing the existing forest which act as the lungs of our earth.  Deep sigh…..We were standing under the canopy of my gorgeous tulip tree at the time (photo to follow.. when I can get organised enough to upload it).

Thirteen degrees of Taurus sits on the empty space of my T-square so all things earthy, gardens, flowers, soil and life cycles are manna to my soul and this space trines Pluto in Virgo in my first house.

Not sure what I’m writing about.  Its nearly time to head out to the park with wee Jasper for a play but I am reading blogs and just had a comment on yesterday’s post from the beautiful Ursula and it got me to crying.

Lots of people see tears as a bad thing but I don’t. To me they are the softening rain that makes me supple and bendable in the best way.  I carry a lot of body tension as a result of childhood and several accidents and it was explained to me by a therapist that the fascia of the different organs of the body become very tight due to trauma and that tears are the balm which soften the fascia and release it.  I feel restored after a little cry and feel I have come home to my body and my deeper truth, not only that the connection to someone’s feedback and mirroring of me made me very happy and filled just a little bit the longing I was feeling.

Not much more to say than that.  I am feeling a little lonely and isolated today and just wanted to share it, before going out to the park to play.

Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

Categories Connection, Emotional Expression, Letting Go, Nature, TearsLeave a comment

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