Befriending Feelings


Find the seed at the bottom of your heart and bring forth a flower. 

Shigenori Kameoka

The following meditation on befriending feelings comes from a beautiful little book:  Meditations for Forgiving and Moving On, by Tian Dayton

In our society it we seem to have a difficult time with accepting and understanding our feelings.  Developing emotional insight and intelligence has been a huge part of my recovery from addiction and co-dependence.  I  was at a meeting today where several people were sharing their difficulties and it struck me that a lot of the time they were judging themselves for feelings that were just human responses to challenging circumstances.   So for what its worth and in an attempt to inspire and uplift below is Tian’s meditation on making friends with our feelings.

Today, I befriend my feelings without judgement.  If I am still lonely or depressed, I need not act on that feeling, seeing it as unrecovered, then going through complicated mental machinations to change it.  Instead, i give it space and observe it, knowing that this process will have a transforming effect.  I allow myself to feel other than I am supposed to feel.  I give room to a feeling and befriend it rather than push it away with impatient, intolerant thoughts.

My feelings follow a pattern.  Rather than control them, I simply watch as a feeling arises, intensifies, hangs around inside of me and lifts all of its own accord.  I need not rush my own process of life today.  I can be with it.  I can allow it to be with me. I can be fully human and alive.  I observe my feeling process rather than control it.

Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

Categories Emotional RecoveryTags, 7 Comments

7 thoughts on “Befriending Feelings”

  1. Great post!

    I’ve been thinking a lot about something you said with regards to understanding your ancestral legacy. I have in the past reviewed the storyline of my ancestors, which is easier on one side of my family than on the other, but still doable.

    Then last night as I was cogitating on my personal ancestral theme, I took it wider into a global history legacy… following a thought that Society in recent years is Narcissistic and trying to trace where that wound comes from for Society.

    I was going to do a post about my thoughts but those thought are in visual flashes rather than in word form.

    I hope you will perhaps take your in depth view of the ancestral inheritance of the individual and develop on it because you have great insight into it which is inspiring, and because I think it ties in with what you’ve expressed in this post 🙂


    1. THANK yoU Ursula I will … I Am experiencing probLeMS WIth My computer As you Can See …. SO BLoGgINg ANd REPLyInG hAs bEEN SloWeD dOWn…. UUrRGGHH :)… HopE tO gEt it sorted SOOn… mISs Neptune sPILT TEA ON hER LaPtOp…..:)ITs QUiet funny tHOUgh


  2. You’re the second person I know who has had a computer meltdown due to water being spilled on it in the last couple of days! How weird! Oh and it’s a strange coincidence that your latest post just before Miss Neptune spilled was about expressing and embracing feelings (using your computer to do so). I read a while ago in a book which was about equating outer life events to inner life events and connecting them and using the elements to decrypt things… that anything connected to water is connected to feelings. A spill is feelings gushing out. You know, we express ourselves through any and every means possible, our life is our self expression in motion, and so… hmmm. Tea is connected to sympathy.

    That’s how my mind works, connecting this and that… but sometimes an event is exactly what it is and nothing more than that… but I do like to explore possibilities!

    Take care, hope your sinuses are healing and all is well and getting better 😀


  3. How beautiful and insightful, Ursula. At the time I was in the process of working on an article I just posted on Venus Retrograde. Its taken me nearly two weeks to get it out there, as today I finally have my new laptop. How interesting that someone else had a meltdown too, as such a similar time. I’m like you and like to look deeply into what it might be saying on an unconscious level…..I made this connection today… As a child I could not express my true feelings and our home was very controlled. I became a clumsy person and as I see it that relates to the repression on my expression in some way..and feeling so much was put under wraps that the only way it could come out was in this way I tend to spill things on myself and things around me can break down… I’m working on mindfulness at the moment as I do know that sometimes these things happen when I am not really being present or considering the implications of my actions… but maybe that all comes in hindsight … 🙂


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